The Itch

I have said this before and I will say it again. Everything has become “normal” to me over here. Soldiers, street kids, and skinned goats on the back of motos. Nothing seems to be surprising. I think that it is a sign that I am no longer traveling in a foreign land. What used to be foreign has lost its mystery.

I have wrestled with the idea of living versus traveling ever since I touched down in Goma town. And for the most part the argument has gotten the best of me. I have succumbed to the sleeper hold of it all. But now I feel that I have gained the upper hand.

Why does everything being normal have to be a bad thing? It’s just a sign that I am now a Goma resident versus just a nomad. I recognize faces at the border patrol and they recognize me, I know where the cheap beer is in town, and I am under the impression that I have gained the respect of a couple of the traffic cops on my daily commute into HEAL.

Yet, for some reason, I’m not comfortable. I am constantly feeling like there should be more. I am missing out; there is more adventure, more work, just more. WHY? Why can’t I get comfortable? Every day is different and brings new challenges with it. So why do I find myself feeling uncomfortable?

Its not like I am uncomfortable driving down the streets cause I am scared or I haven’t met any good people its something else. It is like I have found this awesome sweater in a store and no matter how cool I may look, or how perfect it fits, I can’t get over how it scratches the back of my neck.

I have come up with a way to make every week “exciting”. I am making little goals, little adventures that I need to do or accomplish by the end of the week. For example, going second hand clothes shopping in the big open air market, walking, instead of driving, back to Maji from HEAL. Small things. Manageable things. But things that help to give me a small adventure high that I have been looking to score.

I am not sure if I will be able to get rid of the itch but it can’t hurt to start by cutting out the tag.